Incline, Recline or Decline!

Posted: April 17, 2012 by Kara in marriage

We attended some leadership training a while back and the speaker spoke on the three phases of leadership. I thought it reflected the phases of marriage pretty well.

Phase 1 – Incline!

This is where we should strive to be in our marriages.  In the incline phase you are having steady progress in your marriage. You are excited and are in a forward motion. You love learning new things about your spouse, you love doing things with and for your spouse. You are looking for ways to show your love to them. You are communicating well with your spouse or you are trying to at least.


Phase 2 – Recline!

Recline is not terrible and I think most of our marriages hit the recline phase a lot. In this phase we have hit a comfort zone. We are okay with where we are at and we can relax.  But when you relax you let tiredness control you instead of passion. The joy you used to find in your mate is declining.  You’re not sharing as much with your spouse as you used too. When we relax for too long the chance of boredom sets into our lives. And boredom is a very dangerous spot. Boredom is a route to decline in your marriage. If you think boredom or complacency is setting in, then it’s time to get up and start putting some action into your marriage so that you can head back to incline. I know it’s easy to get stuck in recline and go through life in a comfort zone but God has so much more for our marriages. Our spouses deserve more than comfort, they deserve the best.


Phase 3 – Decline!

This phase can be very dangerous. You start looking for all the negative things in your mate; you see all they are not doing. You just don’t care anymore. It’s more about you and not at all about loving your spouse anymore. Watching that ball game or going shopping is way more important than spending some quality time with your spouse.  Communication is not really in the equation at all or at least not the way it should be for a good marriage. In this zone, you begin to wonder if you even like your spouse anymore.  Some counseling and Godly advice should be sought during this time.


Take a look at these phases. Do you see your marriage in one of them? What is a step you have taken to put your marriage on the incline?  We would love to hear some insight and ideas you might have to get marriages to Phase 1.

I will start! Daily Devotions are great on keeping you communicating and sharing in each other’s lives. Those that pray together stay together!


We will be giving away one free copy of “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Comment below to be entered into the drawing and please share about the giveaway with your friends and family! Contest ends midnight April 30, 2012.  Drawing will be held on May 1st 2012.

  1. Christy Murphy says:

    Excellent points! Love your insight!

  2. Gloria Nixon says:

    Very good advise to not only the young, but the elderly as well.

  3. twinsmom says:

    Good points! Never want to get to the decline phase!

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