Archive for June, 2012

Words

Posted: June 29, 2012 by Troy in marriage

A good friend and confidant told me something today that really meant a lot to me. They mentioned that it may seem like a random thing to tell me what they had to say. I thanked them for the kind words but I don’t think they knew exactly how much the words really meant to me.

It made me think about how often we think good things or kind words in our minds but they never cross our lips to be heard by our spouse.

It was a huge breakthrough for me the day I realized that I didn’t have to keep my thoughts in. I quite often thought great wonderful things about my wife but never spoke them to her. I was missing out on a chance to uplift her and be supportive in the different things she would do, or maybe just brighten her day by telling her how pretty she looked.

If you have those thoughts, why not share them with the one you love? What’s keeping you from doing it? Fear of allowing your thoughts to be expressed outwardly? Possibly having the words be rejected?

It would seem that having those thoughts and not expressing them, would be the equivalence of never having the thought in the first place. At least to those who need to hear them.

If you aren’t having them, try picking out the positive things that your spouse does and compliment them on it. The more you do it the easier it gets.

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Constraints!

Posted: June 9, 2012 by Kara in marriage

A constraint is a limitation or restriction. I was reading a book today and it talked about an experiment with fish. They divided a fish tank with a glass pane and added food to the empty side. They watched to see how many times the fish would bump into the glass to get the food. After they stopped they removed the pane but the fish stayed on the other side of the tank even though they had access to the food.

I thought for a moment about the constraints in marriage. For years some of us try and try in our marriages but then we give up. We have gotten bumped around so much and we feel it’s no longer worth the effort to get hurt. We give up!

I was ready to give up but God moved in and removed the pane. He opened up my husband’s heart and He changed my marriage in a miraculous way. He changed both of us!

Even though I knew the pane was gone, I still lived behind the constraint. I was scared to move past the pane. I was living like I would get hurt if I opened up myself to the newness of my marriage.  I had a hard time trusting God with the control of my marriage. To be honest, I still struggle sometimes, but I push through it so that I can let go and let God!

God, He is the Blessed Controller! I had to let go and swim to the other side. And on days when I want to swim back, I have to remind myself that He is my guidance and I can trust Him with my heart, with my life, with my marriage! He will not fail!

Our marriages can be so great if we would trust God and swim past our constraints. Yes maybe it’s hard but He is greater than the hard and He wants so much for your marriage.

I was at a kid’s camp with my daughter this past week. The kids were asked to close their eyes and then asked who came from a divorced home. The amount of hands that went up brought tears to my eyes. I wondered, how many of these marriages could have been saved, how many of these marriages were living behind constraints that had been lifted? How many of these marriages could have been saved by simply letting God be the Blessed Controller?

God will lift the pane (pain) but you have to swim. You have to fight past what your mind is telling you and trust God with everything! He did it for me and He can do it for you.

Do you live behind a constraint that God has lifted?