Archive for July, 2012

Sand! One grain or a bucket full?

Posted: July 26, 2012 by Kara in Uncategorized

I know there are some that love the beach. You can sit out there all day and it is fun to play in for a while, but for me the sand starts to get aggravating. A grain of sand weighs nothing, but a multitude of it weighs a ton.

I want to think of a grain of sand as something your spouse does that aggravates you or hurts you.  When it first happens, it doesn’t weigh so much. I believe we think it does at the time of the offense. So instead of getting rid of the sand, we store it in our bucket. We might need it later in the middle of a flood.

We think if we hang on to it, it will protect us. So we start to add it grain by grain to our bucket. It starts to get heavy. It is not as easy to get rid of once it gets so heavy. There is more to forgive, more to be bitter over.

Handling it grain by grain is so much easier than waiting for it to be so heavy that it weighs us down. We even come to a point where we think we cannot forgive. It is too big! The offense to great, the hurt to deep!

 Communicate and get rid of the grains now instead of waiting for them to grow into in a huge marriage struggle. A struggle that could become the beginning of an end, the end to something that was meant to be such a blessing. Our marriages are a blessing!

I have done this in my marriage and in my spiritual life. The combination together sent me into hiding. I had so much it seemed I had been buried beneath it. It had trapped me underneath and stolen my joy.

I soon had forgotten who I was, I could not think clearly. I looked to people and things to pull me out of the thick sand I was trapped under. You see my bucket overflowed and I was trapped in bitterness, resentment and anger. I needed their attention, their approval. Maybe their approval would give me the strength to fight back.

I learned to deal with the sand. It was a normal thing for me to go through life feeling so trapped by all the sand around me, it was making me feel selfish. All I could see was myself and my need to get out!

I had forgotten why I was created, to love and serve a God that is so great and so mighty. He wanted to help me but I was not looking for Him. Oh I thought I was, but in the end what mattered more was the approval of others.

I am learning to take each grain and bring it to the Lord and give it to Him. I no longer want to live trapped under all the weight, I want to live free in Him. And He wants me to as well.

So I challenge you today, in your marriage, in every relationship to take your grains and give them to God. He is stronger and more capable to handle it. Give Him the grains. Go to your spouse and tell them what is aggravating you, you might not come to an agreement but at least you both know it’s there and that you both need to work on it together.

After running to God, your spouse should be next in line to run too. Be transparent with them. We only love as much as we know. Let them know you inside and out, your dreams, your fears, your struggles, your challenges. What can make your day go bad, what gets under your skin.

Spouses, be willing to listen and to accept.  Husbands, lead with caring arms and gentle guidance and wives be the helpmate that your husbands need.