Posts Tagged ‘love’

Follow Through

Posted: January 23, 2013 by Troy in marriage
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I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “actions speak louder than words” The reality of that statement is, that it’s true.

When we speak great words to our spouse and have no follow through, We are teaching our spouse that we are full of hot air and also fooling ourselves into thinking that we go away with it.

We very much remember when people tell us they are going to do something and don’t do it. The next time it will be easier for us to blow more hot air and again do nothing. We are going against what makes us, US which is our word.

Try doing that at work, tell your boss you’ll have that report ready on Monday, don’t follow through and see how it goes. Why is our spouse not any more important to us than our boss or our job or whatever else it is in life that we make a priority and somehow find the time and make the effort to follow through with?

If we want a great marriage, following through on the good intentions and promises made must be a priority. I believe that you’ll find that following through on what you say to be rewarding to your spouse AND yourself.

Right now is there something you promised your spouse you would do and you havent followed through yet? If its within your means why not do it?


The “Perfect Marriage”?!?

Posted: October 14, 2012 by Troy in marriage
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The “Perfect Marriage”?!? Does it exist?

I think it does and I think you can have one.

When you have two imperfect people that are aware of their faults, willing to learn from their mistakes and are striving toward a marriage that is not only sustainable but thriving and growing despite having two imperfect people smack dab in the middle of it… That is the perfect marriage to me.

I know that I am far from perfect. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and if I live to see next week I’m sure I’ll make some more. They won’t be as bad as the ones before due to me learning day by day what to do and not do. I’ll still stumble but the fall isn’t as far and the apologies are much quicker.

Striving towards perfection in everything we do is a worthy goal, unattainable, but worthy. Take comfort in knowing that you are NOT married to a perfect person and know that they can never look down their nose at you. But also take note that you are NOT perfect as well but equally susceptible to faults and failures.

When I came to realize that the person that I am today and the person I want to be may never cross paths, was a little disheartening to me at one time. But I also came to realize that through putting God first in my marriage I was able to accept who I was and what I needed to do to continue moving towards that ever moving goal of perfection.

My wife has been by my side for 20+ years now. I can see perfection in her eyes (by that I mean I can see her looking past my faults). I know she loves me even if she is upset with me and she will love me on the other side of whatever obstacle we are facing at the time. That’s an awesome feeling, it wasn’t always there.

We have been through thick and thin, through ups and downs. We have seen it all either in our marriage or someone else’s. We know that it can be tough at times but if you both keep your eyes on God and keep moving in his direction you can overcome anything that life will throw at you.

I said all that to say I do know that the perfect marriage does not exist in the form the movies or books would have us think, but I do I believe that we can can have a “Perfect Marriage” despite ourselves. By never giving up on one another, by always being there for each other and always striving to be the best we can be in all that we do for our spouse. The “Perfect Marriage” is ours to live or ours to lose.

Margins – Sharing

Posted: August 13, 2012 by Troy in marriage
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A Margin is a portion of time, left over within a certain time frame when you are complete with your chores or whatever the task at hand was. Meaning you have some spare time left to do whatever you wish with…

My wife and I just had some really great training from Dr. Rick Wyser of the Life Catalyst Program. One of the topics he taught on was margins, along with hearing him, Paul from the generous husband started on margins in a couple of his posts, right about the same time we were finishing up with Dr. Wyser. So it really got me thinking that there must be something to this margin thing that I can use in my life.

I do try to plan out what I’m going to daily and how long it will take me so that I do not “overbook” myself in a days time and also so that I can look back at the day and see that I have accomplished something.

This got me to thinking about our margin being “OUR” margin…. Is it possible to have Margin left over at the end your day and then give it away to help your spouse? By that I mean some of us are planners and can really see a way to plan our days so that we (on average) have margins left at the end of our day. Some of us aren’t…. We don’t see the value in planing, we are always running behind with more chores than daylight left at the end of the day.

The question I have is that if we can see the value of having a Margin, could we see the value of sharing that with our spouse? If we have time left at the end of our day why not offer up some of it to our spouse? You could say to them “I have finished up what I needed to do today, is there anything I can help you with?” by doing this we give the opportunity for our spouse to have a little margin to enjoy US at the end of their day, instead of running behind till bedtime.

It’s true that we are usually selfish with our time and this will be one I will have to push myself to do, but she’s worth every effort I put into our marriage. I can do better daily and will. This is one of the ways I feel like I can add Margin to my marriage as a whole.

If you are running a Margin-less life, try and think of some ways you can add Margin to it. Start with asking God to help you and to reveal your time wasters or whatever it may be in your life that prevents you from creating Margin in your life.